


as i say these words

by HuiLian



Series: Whumptober 2020 [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Whump, Whumptober 2020, broken trust, dick & damian will be the death of me someday...., once again with the mumblemumble villain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26933926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuiLian/pseuds/HuiLian
Summary: “I’m trying to get us out,” Damian whispers, matching his voice to Richard’s soft one. A lie. Well, not really. Damian has been trying ways after ways, but he cannot find a way that will get both of them out.“Hm,” Richard hums. “I know that, Little D. What are you doing, now? Anything I can help with?”The question pierces Damian’s heart and lets out streams of guilt and regret. It’s his fault they are in this situation. And if that is not bad enough, it’s his fault that they hurt Richard’s eyes.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne
Series: Whumptober 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947091
Comments: 28
Kudos: 140
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	as i say these words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gemini_Baby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Baby/gifts).



> schedule? i don't know her XD  
> this is for no.12, but whatever, right? time is an illusion  
> gem requested broken trust with dick&damian! I hope you like this, gem!!!!!!!!!!  
> title from pacienca y fe, in the heights!

“What are you doing, Damian?” Richard asks, with a voice that is so soft, Damian almost couldn’t hear it. 

Damian stops his tinkering on the mismatched computer he built out of the remnants of his and Richard’s gauntlets. It was broken when they were first captured, and so their captors didn’t bother removing it, but Damian is _Robin_. He can deal with broken gear, has done so enough times in the past. 

Memories of endless desert and unending track assaults him. Damian stomps it away. 

He looks up, away from the computer and facing Richard, feeling guilty of the fact that he hasn’t looked up to Richard in a while now. But then, Damian can’t take seeing Richard’s face. Or, more precisely, Richard’s eyes. 

Damian can’t take knowing that it was because of him that Richard can’t see, now. 

“I’m trying to get us out,” Damian whispers, matching his voice to Richard’s soft one. A lie. Well, not really. Damian has been trying ways after ways, but he cannot find a way that will get _both_ of them out. 

“Hm,” Richard hums. “I know that, Little D. What are you _doing_ , now? Anything I can help with?”

The question pierces Damian’s heart and lets out streams of guilt and regret. It’s _his_ fault they are in this situation. And if that is not bad enough, it’s _his_ fault that they hurt Richard’s eyes. 

If only Damian had kept his mouth shut…

No. What’s done is done. He can only hope that if he succeeds in getting Richard out, Richard will forgive him. 

Who knows if what they did to Richard is permanent, after all. 

“It’s fine,” Damian finally says. “I can handle it. Go back to sleep, Richard.”

“Hmm,” Richard hums again. “You need some rest too, Dami.”

“I will be fine,” Damian states. “Besides, don’t you want to get out of here?”

“Yes,” Richard answers. “But not at the cost of you, Damian.” 

If the question before pierces Damian’s heart, well, this one crushes it. It’s _his_ fault. Richard shouldn’t be worrying about him. 

“I will be fine, Richard,” Damian says. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Always,” Richard answers immediately. Instead of reassuring him, it makes his already mangled heart crumble even more. Because what did Richard’s trust bring him?

What did Richard’s trust in _Damian_ bring him? Pain, again and again. 

“Go back to sleep, Richard,” Damian says, because he doesn’t have anything else to say. 

Richard hums again, but acquiesces. 

Damian goes back to his mismatch computer, racking his mind on how to get them out. 

***

There is no way to get them both out. There is no way to get them _both_ out. 

There is _no way_ to get them both out. 

Damian closes his eyes, and let the tears that had been building in his eyes fall. He makes sure that no noise comes out of him. 

If Richard can’t hear it, then he won’t know anything is wrong. If Richard can’t hear it, then he won’t try to reassure Damian. 

Damian lets the tears fall and the anguish loose. He lets it out and out and out, until there is nothing left anymore. 

Then, he gets to work. If there’s no way to get them both out, he’s going to make sure that it’s Richard who gets out.

***

Damian shakes Richard awake gently. _Very_ gently. He doesn’t want to cause even more pain to his brother. 

Richard wakes up almost immediately. “What is it, Damian?”

Damian swallows before asking, “Do you trust me?”

And like every single time he has asked that question here, Richard’s answer comes instantly. “Always.”

It breaks whatever is left of Damian’s heart. Because he knows that Richard is trusting him to get them both out, and that Damian can’t. He can’t. 

“Hold my hand,” Damian says, extending his hand towards Richard’s. No time for frivolous emotions, now. He can wallow in it _after_ he gets Richard out. 

Richard instantly grabs Damian’s hand. He doesn’t ask what they’re doing, he doesn’t ask where they’re going, he doesn’t ask _anything_. Damian asks him to hold his hand, and he just did. 

A whine wants to get out of Damian’s throat. Damian forces himself to push it down. 

A glance outside confirms what Damian has already known. It’s a shift change. If they want to get out, they have to get out _now._

Damian pulls Richard to his feet and starts punching in codes into his mangled computer that he has connected to the door’s system. It opens with a whoosh, and Damian feels more than hears Richard’s sigh of relief. 

Damian pushes down the misery building in his stomach and takes the computer away from the door, installing it back to his gauntlet. Richard follows without question. 

“Come on,” Damian whispers. And with that, he starts walking through the route he has built from snippets of the building’s layout. Three turns right, then take the middle hallway, then another right turn, before two left turns. It should get them straight to the evacuation pods’ storage. 

_That_ is where it will get difficult. 

Damian navigates through the unfamiliar hallway, reminding himself every so often that Richard is relying on him. His route worked. They didn’t even encounter one patrol in their entire journey to the evacuation pods. 

But, like Damian said, this is where it will get difficult. 

Damian pushes Richard into the room and then locks the door. It won’t be enough, but it should serve as a barrier between them and their captors. Damian starts to let go of Richard’s hand, because he needs both hands to program the evacuation pod, but the panicked look on Richard’s face stops him. He can work with one hand. 

Damian tries one last desperate attempt to program the ship so that the alarms don’t ring when even _one_ of the evacuation pods leave its docking place, but he knows it’s a futile attempt. He has been trying this for _days_ , now. Just because the computer is better doesn’t mean that he will succeed. 

ERROR!

The message blinks on the screen, confirming what Damian has already known. Substantiating what Damian has already accepted. 

Damian looks back at Richard, still holding his hand, and smiles at him, even though he knows that Richard won’t be able to see it. This is the last time Damian will smile at him. 

This is the last time Damian will see him. 

Damian opens the evacuation pod with one hand and pulls Richard with another. He checks the supplies in the pod, well aware that it will only last for _one_ person. Then, he programs the pod to head home. 

Home. He wishes that he could see his family, his pets, his friends, for the last time, but if it will save Richard’s life, well, Damian will do anything. 

All set. All that’s left to do is to push Richard in. 

Richard won’t be able to see anything. He won’t be able to _do_ anything in the pod. Damian knows that he has done everything correctly, has made sure that Richard would return home safe and sound--or, as safe as he could be--, but still, his heart breaks with the image of Richard, alone in the pod, not knowing where he’s going or what he should do. 

Damian puts his other hand, the one that’s not holding Richard’s hand, on his brother’s face. “Do you trust me?” he asks again, reassuring himself that he’s doing the best thing for his brother. 

“Always, Damian,” Richard says, smiling. 

Damian closes his eyes, and, in a fit of impulsiveness, rises up to his toes and kisses Richard’s cheek. “Goodbye, _baba_ ,” he whispers. Then, he pushes Richard in and locks the pod. 

Richard starts screaming at once. “Damian!” He thumps the pod’s door, _knowing_ even without seeing, that Damian is not there with him. “Damian, what are you doing?!”

“Saving your life,” Damian answers, without any hesitation. “I’m sorry, _baba_. You’re going to have to go alone.”

“Damian!” Damian, don’t do this!” Richard shouts, but Damian doesn’t reply. He can’t. If he answers him, he’s going to break. 

He can’t afford to break, not when Richard is not safe yet. 

Damian presses the button to eject the pod. Immediately, like Damian had predicted, alarms blare out. He watches as the pod leaves, watches as Richard doesn’t stop screaming for him inside, watches as he knows that they are coming for him now. 

He watches until he can’t, and then Damian turns around. He’s _not_ going down without a fight.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments and kudos fuel me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! check out my tumblr if you want more of this nonsense (huilian.tumblr.com)
> 
> (sorry, gem XD)


End file.
